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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25080925">Seasons of Love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Songspinner/pseuds/Songspinner'>Songspinner</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route Spoilers, Fluff, M/M, Post-Blue Lions Route (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Reincarnation</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:53:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,420</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25080925</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Songspinner/pseuds/Songspinner</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>One promise made by two lovers in bygone days lingers through three lifetimes, drawing them together again and again.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>86</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Sylvix Remix 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Seasons of Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Yes, feel free to have the song from Rent stuck in your head for the next several hours. XD</p><p>aka, three times when Felix didn't say "I love you" and one time when he did. Look, there are only four seasons. :P</p><p>This work was written for the Sylvix Remix 2020, based on four beautiful pieces of art by @natendo_art ! Go check out their stuff on their twitter, it's all gorgeous and their Sylvixes are so soft and sweet, I love them. &lt;3</p><p>And the song I was listening to while I wrote this was The Other Side, by Ruelle. (Thank you, random person with an amazing Sylvix playlist on Spotify!)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>I. Autumn</strong>
</p><p>“We should get back before the shark sends his goons after us.”</p><p>“Felix, you really shouldn’t call him that. He’s our king, <em> and </em> our friend.”</p><p>“I don’t care who he is, he’s a beast. One sniff of blood in the water and he’s uncontrollable.”</p><p>Sylvain sighs, squinting up at a sky nearly the color of his own hair. Most merfolk never see it at all, let alone know its cycles well enough to know when the sun will set and how it paints the wide expanse of the ocean’s infinite counterpart. “Forget about him right now, will you?” A flick of his tail brings him closer, where he can wrap his arms around Felix from behind and watch his long, dark hair splay out in the surf. “The sky is gorgeous and so are you. Up here, it’s just us. Relax a little.”</p><p>He’s rewarded with a blush that spreads across Felix’s pale cheeks. Sylvain’s lover is always beautiful, but under the sun he transforms into something radiant and rare, porcelain skin glowing under the warm rays.</p><p>“I am relaxed,” Felix grumbles, even as his shoulders tense to put the lie to it.</p><p>“Right, and I’m King of Atlantis.” Sylvain slides his hands up to Felix’s shoulders, gently pushing his hair aside to knead the muscles there.</p><p>Felix does seem to melt just a little under his touch, but after a minute he says, “We shouldn’t be this close to shore. Someone could see us.”</p><p>Sylvain groans. “Felix, <em> please </em>. What’s gotten into you today? Can’t we just have a nice, romantic time watching the sun go down?”</p><p>“...I don’t feel very <em> romantic </em> right now, Sylvain. How can you be this blasé in the middle of a war?”</p><p>“I’m trying to take our minds <em> off </em> the war.” Sylvain turns Felix around in the water and tips his chin up with one finger to meet his eyes. “Can’t we just have one thing untouched by all this bloodshed?”</p><p>“We’ll never be untouched by bloodshed.” His brows draw low as he scowls. “You’re not taking any of this seriously enough. We could die <em> tomorrow. </em> You have to--”</p><p>“Shh, shh, look!” Sylvain drops his voice to a whisper and lowers himself in the water, pointing toward the shore. Felix rolls his eyes, clearly expecting this to be some kind of deliberate distraction, but he submerges to his nose too when he spots the human girl sitting on the sand. They watch in silence as she stares at a bundle of yellow flowers in her hands. Sylvain loves flowers--they remind him of Felix: unique, pretty, always lifting their faces toward the sun. Felix told him once that he was sick of the cold, gloomy depths, and that if he could trade his life with a human’s and walk on the shore somehow, he’d do it in a heartbeat. Sylvain suspects it’s not the sea itself Felix hates but the way it reminds him of all the tragedies they’ve seen, and how he can’t escape it any more than he can escape them.</p><p>They watch as the girl pulls one flower from the bunch and begins pulling the petals off one at a time, mumbling to herself and tossing each petal into the waves. “She looks sad,” Sylvain whispers.</p><p>“That’s no excuse for ruining a perfectly good flower,” Felix mutters back.</p><p>They keep watching until the girl throws away the last petal and stands, only to fling the entire bouquet as far into the water as she can, shouting a wordless curse at the ocean before stalking away from the beach. Sylvain immediately plunges underwater and dashes that way, ignoring Felix’s hissed <em> “Sylvain! </em> What do you think you’re doing?”</p><p>Sylvain lingers just below the surface to gather the blooms, pressing himself against the sand below to stay submerged, then swims back to Felix with a wide grin. “For you, babe.” He can’t help silently patting himself on the back when Felix’s scowl fades into a faint flush.</p><p>Felix takes the flowers--sunflowers, Sylvain remembers, big and bright--as though they’re encrusted with jewels and spun out of gold. Such things don’t grow in the brine, and while the ocean floor has its own beauty, Sylvain prefers these sun-kissed treasures. Or maybe he just likes having something that he and Felix don’t have to share with anyone else. “...did you just scavenge some heartbroken human’s leftovers and pretend they’re some grand romantic gesture?” Felix squints at him.</p><p>“Yep.”</p><p>Felix snorts in a brief chuckle and brings the sunflowers up to his nose to breathe in their scent. “You’re incorrigible.”</p><p>Sylvain hears <em> I love you </em>, and wishes more than anything that he could give Felix the impossible. Sweep him into his arms and away from the sea, just the two of them, leaving everything behind. “Hey, Felix?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“You promise we’ll always be together?”</p><p>Felix’s narrowed eyes flick up from the flowers to Sylvain’s face. “What kind of question is that?”</p><p>“I thought it was a pretty simple one.” He’s still smiling, but the moment feels fragile, like if he pushes too hard it’ll break.</p><p>“Sylvain, ‘always’ is never simple.” But Felix looks thoughtful. “If what you want is to always be together, we’ll have to make sure we die together, too.”</p><p>“Wow, way to make it morbid.” Sylvain can feel a bit of heat rise to his cheeks at the thought, though. “But I’m game if you are.”</p><p>“...okay. I promise. Now get back underwater--”</p><p>Sylvain slips his arms around Felix’s waist and draws him into a kiss before he can finish his demands, and although he grunts against Sylvain’s mouth in vague irritation, he doesn’t pull away. Why his lover puts up with him, Sylvain will never know, but he’ll be forever grateful for it.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>II. Winter</strong>
</p><p>“What’s this for?”</p><p>Felix narrows his eyes when Mercedes giggles in response, but it’s Annette who says, “It’s a sunflower!”</p><p>“I know <em> that. </em>” Felix furrows his brow. “What am I supposed to do with it?”</p><p>“You can put it in your lapel or in your hair, or give it to someone special, or whatever you want. Everyone in our class gets one, so we can’t very well leave you out.” Annette retrieves the one she just a moment ago pressed into his hands, only to reach up and tuck it into his hair. “There! See?”</p><p>“...what a bunch of frivolous nonsense.” But his cheeks feel faintly warm.</p><p>“I think it looks lovely,” Mercedes argues, in her gentle way. “And I think a certain someone will think so, too.”</p><p>Now there’s nothing faint about the warmth in his face. “I don’t know who you’re talking about. And I don’t need a flower.” He plucks it out and drops it back into their basket like it’s burning his fingers.</p><p>Annette pouts, but Mercedes’ serene smile never wavers. “All right, Felix, we understand. I hope you have a lovely evening.”</p><p>She waves as they wander off to find more of their classmates upon whom to bestow flowers. For some reason. He doesn’t really understand any of this, but seeing Mercedes smile is nice, so he won’t rain on their parade with pointless questions.</p><p>“Hey, what are you doing hiding in the corner?” Sylvain saunters over, his own sunflower tucked into the front of his uniform. “You’ll never get anyone to dance with you like that.”</p><p>“Good.”</p><p>“Come on, Felix! Lighten up, this is supposed to be <em> fun </em>.”</p><p>“I don’t like parties.”</p><p>Sylvain sighs. “You don’t have to like parties to relax a little. You’re always wound up so tight! Would it kill you to let your hair down a little? Uh, metaphorically speaking. Although--”</p><p>“<em> No </em>, Sylvain.”</p><p>That’s when Felix sees the look in his eye, the one that says he’s fixated on this idea and will not let it go until he gets his way. Felix groans as Sylvain confirms his fears: “What will it take to get you to agree to <em> one </em> dance? Just one, and I swear I’ll leave you alone.”</p><p>“Why do you care so much? And who are you suggesting I dance with? If you’re trying to set me up with some girl, I--”</p><p>“No way, I learned my lesson there.” Sylvain holds his hands up in surrender, and then runs one of them through his hair. Felix finds himself wondering how Sylvain manages to look so effortlessly handsome even with his hair all ruffled like that. Is it on purpose, or is he just naturally the most attractive person in Fódlan?</p><p>“Felix. Buddy.” Sylvain places both hands on Felix’s shoulders and looks him in the eye. “I care because you work too hard. You need to chill out. Besides, you’re a better dancer than anyone else here! Don’t you want to show off those skills you worked so hard for?”</p><p>Felix rolls his eyes. “First you tell me I work too hard, then you tell me I should show off? Make up your mind.” Sylvain’s right, though, in a way; Felix <em> has </em> put a lot of effort into learning to dance for the sake of improving his footwork and endurance. Still, what use is it on its own?</p><p>“I guess you’ve got me there.” Sylvain pouts down at him, pulling out his kicked-puppy look, and Felix knows he’s doomed. “If you don’t want to dance with any girls, dance with me instead.”</p><p>“Sylvain…ugh. Fine. <em> One </em> dance, just so you’ll leave me be.”</p><p>Sylvain’s face brightens, and he winks. “I’ll make it worth your while, I promise.”</p><p>Felix has no idea what that’s supposed to mean, but he follows Sylvain out onto the dance floor during the brief lull between tunes. As the orchestra starts up a serene waltz, Sylvain lifts his hands in invitation, but Felix scowls as he switches their positions. “I lead, or we’re done here.”</p><p>Sylvain gives him a wide, toothy grin, but at least he acquiesces without complaint. “Okay, okay! No need for threats.”</p><p>Felix has to admit that it’s kind of nice to shake off the rust and glide across the floor like this. He <em> also </em> has to admit that dancing with <em> Sylvain </em> in particular is...nice. He’s warm and he smells good, like always, and they’re comfortable together--Felix tends to get stiff and awkward when he dances with most people, but here with Sylvain, it’s easy to just <em> be </em>. To forget that the room is filled with so many pairs of eyes. But... “I would have thought you’d be bouncing from girl to girl tonight, why bother with me?”</p><p>He expects the usual flippant response, so when Sylvain’s eyes drift elsewhere and he doesn’t respond right away, Felix isn’t sure whether to be concerned or suspicious. Sylvain’s still looking somewhere over his shoulder when he replies, “You think you’re some kind of afterthought to me?”</p><p>“Aren’t I? You’re constantly rambling about all the women you spend time with. If you were that dedicated to your training, I’d see a lot more of you.” Heat floods his face abruptly, as he realizes how that must sound.</p><p>Sylvain brings his gaze back to look down into Felix’s eyes. “Do you want to see more of me, Felix?”</p><p>“I didn’t...I just meant…ugh, shut up.” His hand grips Sylvain’s a little tighter and he pulls them into a turn that’s sharper than it needs to be.</p><p>“Whoa--” Sylvain chuckles as he stumbles before he steps back into their seamless rhythm. “No, for once, I’m serious.”</p><p>Serious about...what, exactly? Felix almost bails, but he finds that he doesn’t want to let go. He’s turned his back on Sylvain many times, and only recently has he realized that Sylvain <em> always </em> follows him. Even when Felix snaps at him and tries to push him away. Even when Felix thinks he wants to be alone--Sylvain proves him wrong, time and again.</p><p>Sylvain’s gaze turns softer than Felix has seen it since they were children. “I didn’t want to dance with any women tonight,” he says quietly. “I only wanted to dance with you.”</p><p>Felix feels as though the room has tipped over on its side, or maybe the world has. “...what are you saying?”</p><p>“I’m saying…” Sylvain sighs. “Look, I’ve been trying to find a good time to tell you this, and the ball seemed like the best I was going to get. I guess it’s now or never, right?”</p><p>“How should I know? You won’t spit it out.”</p><p>“Right, okay. Here goes.” Sylvain licks his lips. Nervous? Felix has rarely seen him openly nervous. “So we’re best friends, and that’s...great. Really great. The thing is...you’re the only one who doesn’t want me to be anything but me. You don’t care about my Crest, or my family name, or any of that.”</p><p>“Of course I don’t. All that nonsense just turns you into someone you’re not. I hate it.”</p><p>“Well, you’re just about the only one. And I’ve always been really grateful for that. But more than grateful, too. Felix...” He looks so serious that he’s almost frowning. Or maybe it just seems that way because Felix rarely sees him without that fake, goofy smile anymore.</p><p>“I think I love you,” Sylvain says. “I think I always have.” He reaches into the inner pocket of his jacket and pulls out a second sunflower. He holds it between them like an offering. “And I want to be with someone who wants <em> me </em> , the real me. Someone who really sees the utter <em> mess </em> that is Sylvain Gautier and sticks around anyway. I want to be with you.”</p><p>It doesn’t stun Felix to hear this, because hearing it feels <em> right </em>. It feels like something Sylvain’s said a dozen times over already over the years without words; something Felix has thought a dozen times over but never quite accepted. So Felix nods, decisive. “Then we’re agreed.”</p><p>Sylvain’s brows shoot up to his hairline and then he bursts out laughing. It's funny, but he's also letting out his relief, because what he hears when Felix speaks even these strangely curt words is <em>I love you, too.</em> “We’re <em> agreed? </em> Are you saying you’ll go out with me or negotiating a treaty?”</p><p>“Shut up.” And then, because he doesn’t want to leave anything ambiguous, “I’m saying I’ll go out with you, Sylvain. Obviously.”</p><p>Sylvain’s still grinning when he reaches up to tuck the sunflower into Felix’s hair, and this time, Felix lets it stay.</p><hr/><p>
  <strong>III. Spring</strong>
</p><p>“This doesn’t feel real.”</p><p>Felix grunts in response, shading his eyes to look out over the field of sunflowers dancing in Derdriu’s sea breeze with one hand and resting the other on his hip.</p><p>“You know what I mean?” Sylvain prompts.</p><p>“Not really. It feels a little too real to me.”</p><p>Sylvain barks a laugh and gets to his feet from where he’s lying in the grass to slide in behind Felix and slip his arms around his waist. “What’s that supposed to mean? We fought so hard for peace and now you don’t want it?”</p><p>“That’s not what I said.” Felix sounds annoyed, but Sylvain can hear the uneasiness behind it.</p><p>“What’s the matter, gorgeous?” he murmurs in Felix’s ear, leaning down.</p><p>Calling Felix anything that isn’t his name usually gets him to snort and lighten up (and call Sylvain an idiot), but this time things must really be serious, because instead he just frowns. “We’re soldiers, Sylvain. We’ve been soldiers since we were born. What’s a soldier without a war to fight?”</p><p>“Gee, I dunno. A human being?”</p><p>Felix rolls his eyes. “I’m serious.”<br/><br/>“So am I.” Sylvain turns Felix around to face him. “You and I know better than anyone that we don’t have to be what our families, what <em> Faerghus </em>, made us.”</p><p>“I know.” But Felix doesn’t look at him. “I don’t have to be a <em> knight </em> to be a swordsman. And that’s what I want. I just don’t like feeling like this brand new Fódlan has no place in it for someone like me.”</p><p>“Then screw it.” Sylvain tips Felix’s chin up with a finger until he relents and looks up. “We don’t need Fódlan. We can go anywhere, do anything. I’m sick of feeling chained to all this responsibility and tradition. I sure as hell don’t want to become Margrave and turn into my father, spend my life protecting a border from people we kicked off their own land in the first place. Or Goddess forbid, pass on my Crest. Let Ingrid and His Majesty do all that without us.”</p><p>Sylvain thought that would help--and he meant it--but if anything Felix’s brow just furrows further. “What, you really want to be the next Duke Fraldarius?” Sylvain presses. “This from the guy who threatened to defect at least twice?”</p><p>“But I didn’t.” Quiet. “...I wasn’t even there when my father died. And I was so angry that he gave his last words to Dimitri, but now I think Dimitri needed them more than I did. Did he ever tell you what they were?”</p><p>Felix almost never talks about Rodrigue, so Sylvain carefully keeps his mouth shut for once, just shaking his head.</p><p>“My old man told him to ‘live for what he believes in.’ He never said that to me. If he had, maybe I wouldn’t have…” Then he scoffs at himself. “Listen to me. I sound pathetic.”</p><p>“Hey,” Sylvain says softly. “If it’s pathetic to wish your family had done things differently, I’d be the most pathetic of us all.”</p><p>“Hmph.” But Felix does seem a little mollified. “The point is...I don’t know. I spent a lot of time pushing people away, and sometimes I think <em> I </em> should have been the one who was there for Dimitri. Not my father.”</p><p>“Felix…” Sylvain sighs. He really doesn’t want to talk about Dimitri, not now that he’s gotten the idea of spiriting Felix away and never coming back into his head. “Aren’t you the one who’s always saying we shouldn’t dwell on the past?”</p><p>“I am. But if you think the boar will never make another appearance, you’re a fool. It’s not the past, it’s reality.” Felix shakes his head. “Besides, I’m being ridiculous. Unifying Fódlan doesn’t mean the dissenters have magically disappeared. There are still plenty of battles to fight.”</p><p>“...yeah. Sure.” Sylvain’s face smiles without him.</p><p>“What.”</p><p>“What? I said sure.”</p><p>“Your face says something else.”</p><p>Well, Sylvain <em> did </em> say that one of the reasons he loves Felix is that he sees the real him, but sometimes it’s damned inconvenient. He rubs the back of his neck with one hand. “It’s nothing, I just...I was serious when I said I didn’t want to go back to Gautier. That’s not me and I’m tired of pretending it is.”</p><p>“Mm.” It’s Felix’s turn to pull Sylvain closer. “Dimitri’s thinking of building up the village outside Garreg Mach into a new capital. He says he doesn’t want people still thinking of him as the Faerghan king, and Fhirdiad is too far north. That’s pretty far from Gautier.”</p><p>“I suppose. It’s pretty far from Fraldarius, too, though.”</p><p>Felix scoffs. “Don’t be absurd. Do you really think I’d let you go without me?”</p><p>Sylvain feels himself relaxing into the embrace, resting his chin on the crown of Felix’s head, and realizes that there <em> was </em> a part of him that feared Felix wouldn’t come. He chuckles. “No, of course not. This good-for-nothing needs his partner to keep him honest.”</p><p>“Please,” Felix mutters. “I haven’t called you that in years.”</p><p>“I know, I know.” Syvlain smiles again, for real this time. “I’m just teasing.” He takes a slow breath through his nose, relishing the scents of salt and pollen on the wind. For all that Sylvain dislikes the heat, he could get used to Derdriu’s beaches--bright and beautiful, but close enough to Faerghus and the water between them to catch cool breezes that keep them pleasant.</p><p>And suddenly, Sylvain doesn’t want to talk about the future anymore. He doesn’t want to make decisions, doesn’t want to guess what Felix might be planning to do with his life or worry that something will tear them apart. He just wants <em> now. </em></p><p>“Let’s go down to the beach.”</p><p>Felix arches an eyebrow. “I’m not swimming.”</p><p>“I won’t drag you into the ocean again, promise.” Sylvain lets go of Felix and turns around, crouching. “Come on, hop on.”</p><p>“Sylvain…”</p><p>“There’s no one around to see us! You know you want to.”</p><p>He can’t see Felix’s face, but he knows it’s doing that thing where he scrunches his nose and tries to scowl when he’s just trying to look mad for the sake of it. It’s cute as hell. And without another word, Felix settles onto his back, clinging with his arms loosely around Sylvain’s neck. He grins and stands, taking a second to ensure balance for the both of them, tucking one arm under each of Felix’s thighs.</p><p>“...I want to stay with you.” It’s a quiet mutter close to his ear.</p><p>Sylvain doesn’t think he’ll ever tire of hearing things like that. He never thought he’d hear them at all, not from someone who really meant them. “You got it, gorgeous.” He bends down to awkwardly get his teeth around the stem of the closest sunflower and yank, plucking it from the ground and tilting his head back. “Thmmlf mmf fllm yrmh,” he says.</p><p>“What the--” Felix snorts. “Idiot.” Sylvain hears <em> I love you </em> and grins when Felix reaches down to take the flower in one hand, ruffling his hair affectionately with the other.</p><p>“Hold on tight!” And Sylvain runs through the sunflowers toward the shining sand with his favorite person, laughing like a schoolboy.</p><hr/><p>
  <strong>IV. Summer</strong>
</p><p>Something jars Felix awake. He blinks. “Why did we stop?” But Sylvain’s not in the car. Oh--the hood is up. He sticks his head out through the open window and raises his voice. “Sylvain! What’s going on?”</p><p>“Smmffs wrnnng wff d cmr,” comes the reply.</p><p>Felix rolls his eyes and gets out, squinting in the bright sunshine. “Yes, thank you, I can tell there’s something wrong with the car. What is it?”</p><p>Sylvain takes the screwdriver out from between his teeth and straightens up, stretching his back and wiping sweat from his forehead with the back of one hand. “Pretty sure it’s the ignition. Battery seems fine.”</p><p>“Are you sure it’s not just the clutch again? I don’t understand why you still drive this thing, it’s older than you are.”</p><p>“Hey! Be nice to my sweetheart.” Sylvain pats the car. <em> Pats </em> it. Felix rolls his eyes. “And no, it’s not the clutch, I know how to drive stick, Felix.” Then he grins, wicked. “And you know it.”</p><p>“Shut up.” Felix’s face goes red and he punches Sylvain’s arm lightly. “Can you fix it?”</p><p>“Yeah, but we’re gonna need a jump to start her back up.”</p><p>“Your car’s not a woman, Sylvain.” Felix sighs. “I’ll call triple-A.” He pulls out his phone and swears. “Or not. There’s no signal, we’re in the middle of nowhere.”</p><p>“Then I guess we’re taking a walk.” Sylvain closes the hood and opens the driver side door to crank the window shut. Felix does the same on his side, and then Sylvain’s taking his hand and tugging him forward to walk alongside the highway, taking off his glasses and tucking them into his pocket.</p><p>“You know your mother would buy you a new car, right?”</p><p>Sylvain grunts. “I don’t want my parents’ money. Or their gifts. Or their calls, or texts, or emails, or...anything. I wish they’d disowned me instead of Miklan.”</p><p>“Fair enough, I guess.” Felix may not like his father either, but at least Rodrigue showers him with more money than a college student could ever reasonably spend in a year. Felix is pretty sure it comes out of what was supposed to be Glenn’s own college fund. Which is morbid and unsettling, but also sort of a nice gesture that he grudgingly appreciates.</p><p>Rodrigue also doesn’t make passive aggressive digs about his major or him dating a man at holiday parties, so that’s another difference.</p><p>They walk in comfortable silence for a while, both suffering in the heat of the afternoon and checking periodically--and fruitlessly--for a signal. Sylvain complains about it eventually, and then doesn’t <em> stop </em> complaining until Felix finally has to change the subject. “What are you taking in the fall?”</p><p>“More like, what am I <em> re </em>taking.” Sylvain kicks a pebble that goes bouncing into the grass. “I failed two mandatory classes last year, remember?”</p><p>“I know that,” Felix snaps. “You did it on purpose. And you still won’t explain why.”</p><p>Sylvain shrugs. “Come on, Felix, you know I’m not that bright.”</p><p>“What bunk.” Felix glares over at him, cranky from the heat and having to walk all this way. Or maybe just because it’s Tuesday. He’s not even sure. “You’re brilliant. You didn’t <em> want </em> to graduate last year. I think you did it out of spite.”</p><p>Sylvain laughs that stupid laugh that’s laced with something dark at the edges. Felix hates that laugh. “You really think I’d sit through another whole year of classes just to spite my family?”</p><p>“I do. You’ll just goof off through them anyway. Because you don’t <em> need </em> to study. Unlike everyone else on the planet,” he grumbles the last part.</p><p>“Nah, I’m just good at bullshitting.” Felix scowls. He hates this, too, the way Sylvain insists he isn’t talented at everything he touches or genuinely interested in basically every subject. He could have been valedictorian without even trying that hard, Felix is sure. He’s seen Sylvain read textbooks for <em> fun </em>, for Christ’s sake.</p><p>“Whatever.” Felix groans. “We’ve been walking for an hour and a half in this disgusting humidity, I need a break.”</p><p>“I was hoping you’d say that soon.” Sylvain pushes his hair back from his face, slicked now with sweat, and turns away from the road’s shoulder. “Hey look--a sunflower field.” He points into the relatively near distance. “Remember when we went to prom--”</p><p>“--the sunflower corsages, I remember.” Felix chuckles. “You insisted on having matching flowers even though we were supposedly both going stag. I almost had a heart attack.  And <em> still </em>, Dimitri didn’t get it until Ingrid explained it to him like he was five.”</p><p>Sylvain laughs. “God, we were all so stupid.”</p><p>“Some of us still are,” Felix replies, nudging Sylvain’s side with an elbow.</p><p>“You say that, but you’re the one who never realized your dad had a crush on Dimitri’s dad.”</p><p>“Tsk. Low blow, Sylvain.”</p><p>Sylvain tucks his hands behind his head and laces the fingers together. “Hey, you fight dirty, you better be prepared to get mud on yourself, too.”</p><p>They wade into the sea of tall grass and flowers until Felix makes the executive decision to plop down onto the ground. Sylvain follows quickly, sitting behind Felix and facing away so they can lean against each other. “Wait.” Sylvain reaches back and pulls Felix’s hair out of its bun to stop it from poking into his neck.</p><p>“Hey--” Felix tries to grab for the hair tie over his shoulder, but Sylvain keeps it out of reach. “It’s too hot for this,” he grumbles.</p><p>“What was that? I’m too hot? Yeah, I gotta agree.”</p><p>“Hmph.” But Felix doesn’t argue. Instead, he sweeps his long hair off his neck and up with his hands and lies back in the grass, spreading the strands out like a fan.</p><p>“Have I ever told you I love your hair?” Sylvain looks down at him and runs his fingers through it, carefully detangling it whenever his fingers hit a snag.</p><p>“Literally every time I wear it down, yes.” Felix smiles despite himself.</p><p>“Well, I guess I’d better tell you again. I love your hair.” Sylvain scoots forward to lie down too, until their heads are side by side but facing opposite directions. He lifts a chunk of hair and lays it over his face, letting it cascade down onto his neck and sniffing at it. “And I love your shampoo.”</p><p>“Of course you do, it was a gift from you.” But Felix’s cheeks are getting pink from more than the heat, now.</p><p>“Yeah, <em> but </em> --” Sylvain’s hand reaches beyond Felix’s hair, now, to brush his cheek with warm fingers. “I <em> also </em> love your eyes. And your lips. And your neck, and your shoulders. I love when you smile and I love when you scowl like you’re gonna rip my head off. And--”<br/><br/>“I get it, quit your babbling,” Felix groans, definitely reddening further.</p><p>Sylvain laughs lightly, and they fall into another comfortable silence, turning to look up at the sky. As usual, it’s Sylvain who breaks it-- “Hey, Felix, I have a confession to make.”</p><p>“Uh oh. What is it now?” Felix isn’t worried that it will be something upsetting, despite the sudden shift in tone; he’s known Sylvain long enough and well enough that he’s pretty sure he could come to Sylvain’s door and ask for help burying a body and Sylvain would ask how deep.</p><p>“You asked why I repeated senior year. And you were right--partially, it was spite. My father kept making all these grand plans for me, joining the family business the minute I entered the workforce, and ignoring me when I told him I didn’t want to. But…” He turns his head to look at Felix again. “It was also partially because of you.”</p><p>“What?” Felix frowns at him. “Don’t blame me for--”</p><p>“No no, that’s not what I mean.” Sylvain fiddles with the hem of his shirt, and Felix knows it must be serious because Sylvain only fidgets when he’s legitimately nervous or excited. “I mean...I didn’t want to leave you behind and...risk getting separated. I wanted to graduate with you. Ingrid and Dimitri, too, but...mostly you.”</p><p>Felix isn’t as surprised as Sylvain might have thought he would be. After all, they’ve never spent more than a few months apart. “Ah. Figures. You really are helpless without me, huh?”</p><p>Sylvain huffs in quiet laughter, taking the acceptance for what it is. “Completely. That’s why...I wanted to ask you something.”</p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>“...look, Felix, I know I’m a mess.” Okay, <em> this </em> sounds even more serious. Felix sits up and swivels to sit facing Sylvain instead, looking down at him with a frown. “Don’t look at me like that, you know it’s true. I’ve been a mess ever since we were kids and you fished me out of that sewer.” He says it like it’s so normal, and Felix grits his teeth. “Just listen,” Sylvain goes on. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do after graduation, I don’t know what I want to do with my life or how I’ll make a living. So I don’t know what I have to offer you, other than just...me.”</p><p>“Sylvain, don’t be ridiculous--”</p><p>“<em> Listen. </em>” Felix shuts his mouth, flattening it into a line. “I know you want to get into a dance program somewhere, and you’re so good that there’s no chance you won’t. You’ve got ambitions and you work so hard for them. I love that about you.”</p><p>“Where are you going with this?”</p><p>“Marry me.” Sylvain blurts it out like a challenge, sitting up suddenly to stare into his eyes. “I don’t ever want either of us to leave the other behind. Not ever. So marry me.”</p><p>Felix stops breathing, feeling like he’s just landed on the ground after freefalling out of a plane. Seconds tick by, and he tests each one to see whether he’s going to wake up, or the world’s going to end, or Sylvain’s going to start laughing about his funny, funny joke. When none of those things happen, Sylvain’s words seem to settle inside him, as though the last piece of a puzzle has snapped into place.</p><p>“Wasn’t that always the plan?” Felix says, arching an eyebrow as though this were the most obvious thing in the world.</p><p>“...what?” Sylvain nearly chokes, and it’s <em> Felix </em> who’s laughing now.</p><p>“You couldn’t possibly have thought I’d say no, right? How dumb can you be?”</p><p>“Fff.” Sylvain lets out a huge breath all at once. “Ffffuck me. You’re such an asshole.” But he’s grinning from ear to ear and his face is hot.</p><p>“Mm-hmm.” Felix leans forward to dig his fingers into Sylvain’s sweaty (and yet still artfully tousled, how unfair is that?) hair and pull him in for a slow, sincere kiss. When they eventually break apart, Felix rests his forehead against Sylvain’s. “I love you, too, Sylvain.”</p>
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